Behind a Physician Blog: I’m Actually Really Nice

Thank you all for the kind reception to my website and weekly blogs.  Many of you have asked why I started doing this.  I have many reasons, but most importantly, I want to show who I really am as a person and physician, not how I have sometimes been portrayed.  Many of us have been in situations where we feel misrepresented, where we feel people have already made an opinion without getting to know us.  Sometimes, we are unaware of this portrayal and we unknowingly feed into it.

This can happen at work, in school or in social situations.  As a physician, we can be judged by a brief encounter.  Perhaps we are interrupted by an emergency or we are distracted by a sick patient in the hospital. There are times that we are blunt or firm and it is mistaken for rudeness. Usually, it is out of concern for a sick patient.   As a female surgeon, there is risk of being seen as harsh, assertive or arrogant instead of direct, competent and confident.  I’ve always felt bad about those encounters when my best self was not always shown or portrayed.  

I live in a small community where many people I grew up with have returned to raise their families.  I have a busy practice and can see over 50 patients in a week, I have patient’s running through my brain, and I even dream about my patients and their surgeries. I’m a typical working mom whose kids call at work, whose rides don’t show up, or lunch is left at home.  My brain is often in another world when I’m walking through the halls of the hospital.  My kids often ask me the same question 3 times.  In fact, my sister has told me on more than one occasion that I did not recognize an old classmate from high school relaying,  “your sister doesn’t even know who I am”.  Trust me, it’s not intentional.  I’m usually focused or thinking something out.

So, this is a method to show who I am, not who I’ve been portrayed.  This blog has been a way for me to describe myself in a different light.  It’s a way to reveal what goes on behind the Surgeon’s mask, to demonstrate that I am a person, like you all,  that cares immensely, and hopefully to help people in a different way.  Perhaps, this will allow all of you to improve your relationship with your physician and improve your healthcare visits.

I’ve so enjoyed interacting with you all and appreciate your kind and loving feedback.

I’m actually really nice!